Monday, April 6, 2009

Let's try 'POHTRY'...

My first ever 'pohm' (or is it 'paum'??? Bata na dude...!)… Thought I could try… Here goes…


It kills me inside

To know

That I didn’t let you know

How wonderful YOU are…

 

And then I packed… WTF… Pohtry’s not my cup of cake or piece of tea dude… PACK...!!!

Quotable Quotes... By JUMPER...

  • God did not make us to worship him or fear him or love him … He made us to live our lives. We are all his ‘soap operas’ and he’s just enjoying the show…
  • Dude! You are my life… And life’s a bitch… 
  • Do you know how women are able to make chutiya’s of us men so easily? Coz they have one brain and we have two… And we use the second…
  • Everything has a funda… 
  • If you try to stereotype everyone then u will end up with 6 billion or so stereotypes…
  • No matter how hard you try to be a nice person, there will always be someone there who calls you a ‘kameena’…

Monday, December 8, 2008

Monday, December 1, 2008

CRUSH...

This is my first ever peice of fiction. Feel free to post comments...


CRUSH...


“Ahhh! Another boring class over…” exclaimed Tushar. “Ya dude! Dunno what the old guy was teaching. Fell asleep halfway through”, replied Karan.

And so the two went down the narrow staircase that led to Shahi sir’s coaching centre. Dr. Shahi was an accomplished, and hence, boring person who said, “bolo hoga” after every problem he solved on the board. He had done his B.Tech, M. Tech and PhD in chemical engineering from IIT Delhi and yet, was teaching chemistry to confused adolescents preparing for JEE. His students were divided into two groups, those who thought he was a genius and those to whom he never made sense. Tushar and Karan belonged to the second kind.

The two were standing in the parking lot, talking about the latest in laptops, cellphones and cars, the usual guy talk. Occasionally Karan looked over Tushar’s shoulder and glanced at Sonalee, yes, with a double ’e’.

Sonalee was, supposedly, the hottest girl in their batch. On the first day of the session, Karan was not so excited. His friends had joined some other coaching centre and he was the only one in his group coming to Shahi sir’s class. And to add to his misery, by what he had heard from other students of Shahi sir, the centre wasn’t much of a place to look for eye‐candy. So on the first day he entered the classroom without any expectations. And just as he entered, there on the first bench was a ray of hope, the eye candy that would help him last a year of chemistry lectures. It was a crush at first sight for Karan. Every day Karan used to sit a couple of benches behind Sonalee. While he used to stare at her ponytail, which seemed to him more like a ‘bunnytail’, from behind and daydreamed, Tushar busied himself by playing games on Karan’s cellphone. Eventually Tushar got to know of Karan’s crush and as a result their whole group of friends knew.

The weather was pleasant. Winter was around the corner. She was alone, waiting for her chauffeur driven car to come and take her home. Karan was glancing at her.


And their eyes met…

Women unknowingly know that men’s brains aren’t where they are supposed to be. Women instinctively know how to make a man fall in love with them. And men are both clever and stupid enough to let themselves be fooled.

Karan was surprised at first. But decided it was just a coincidence and carried on talking with his friend. A few moments later he glanced at her again.

Again their eyes met…

Karan turned around and looked behind his back. He thought, “Maybe she’s looking at someone else.” But there was no one there.

He looked at her again. And she was still staring at him.

“Dude, she’s looking at me!” said he.

“Who? Your girl? ”
“Ya dude.”

So Tushar turned around and checked. She was still looking in his direction.

“Man! She is looking at you. Go and talk to her.”

“No way! I don’t even know her. How can I propose to her.”

“Who talked about proposing? Just go and talk normally.”

“I can’t just go and talk. I need a reason at least.”

“Ask her for her notes. Tell her you were sleeping in the class.”

“But I could take them from you too.”

“Tell her I was sleeping with you.”

“What?!”

“I mean, tell her I too was sleeping in the class.”

“But dude, there are other guys here from whom I can ask for their notes. She must have seen me talking to them. She’ll know that something’s fishy.”

“That’s the point, my man.”

“Leave it yaar. I’d rather concentrate on my studies.”

“You’re hopeless.”

Then her car entered the parking area and came to a stop near the place where she was standing. Karan saw her open the door and sit inside. And soon she was gone, Karan’s eyes following the car till it was out of sight.

And so the spark was lit. Biologically, humans are animals too. Yet due to their intelligence they behave differently. Most animals find their mates in spring. It’s spring when the cupid strikes. But humans don’t need seasons to tell them when to fall in love. We are vulnerable all the time.

Everyday after the class ended Karan and Tushar stood on one side of the parking lot and Sonalee and her friend on the other. Their eyes met more and more, till they started to stare at each other. And that was enough to convince Karan that she was the one.

But he kept quiet. His parents weren’t satisfied with how he performed in his tests. They stressed that he concentrate more on his studies, saying that it’s only a year of hard work and once he would get admission in a decent college life would be a lot easier. “Ya right! I’ve been hearing that since I was in ninth standard”, thought Karan.

But the eye contacts continued. His friends used to tell him to go and talk to her but he wouldn’t budge. One even offered to propose on his behalf!

And then came December, bringing with it the cold of winter and a blanket of fog. The fog is a lover’s best friend. Lovebirds can carry on with their business without having to be afraid of prying eyes.

“Today will be your last class. I have finished your syllabus and there is nothing else to teach”, announced Shahi.

And then Karan felt his heart crumbling. He suddenly realized that he might never see her again. All of their glances and eye contacts flashed in front of his eyes.

“Dude you need to do something”, chorused his friends.

“Shit!” was his desperate reply.

And then as the class got over, all of them scrambled downstairs and started to encourage him to go and talk to her.

“Na yaar. I can’t afford to have a girlfriend. Already I’m so screwed up.” said Karan.
“Dude, don’t give up. She obviously likes you. Just go and say hi.”

“I can’t. It’s too late.”

“You won’t know until you try. Don’t act like a chicken.”

“I don’t want to try. Leave it man. I’m not talking to her.”

“You’re hopeless man!” said his friends and looked the other way and started talking among themselves. That’s when Karan remembered her cute little bunnytail and the way she walked, clutching her notebooks to her chest. How much he wished to be in the place of those notebooks.

He decided to go and talk to her.

His friends turned around. But he wasn’t there.

“Where did he go?!” exclaimed one of them.

“Shit! He’s going to talk to her.” And all of them turned to see him walk straight up to her.

“This is going to be one hell of a show!” said Tushar.


“Hi! I’m Karan. We study together in Shahi sir’s class.” he introduced himself.

“I know.” she replied with an expressionless face.

“Umm. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sure.”

“How do I put this? I like you. I liked you since I first saw you. I think you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. And I really love your bunnytail.”

“My what?”

“Your ponytail. Would you please be my girlfriend?”

And then there was a pause. The longest moment a man can experience. In this moment a guy would contemplate every possible answer to his question.

“Yes? Or a no? Or a slap? Ouch…” he thought.

And then came the reply.

“No.”

“What? I thought you liked me. You’ve been staring at me for the past couple of months.”

“I never stared at you! You’re not even my type.”

“Crazy bitch.” he said and leaving her dazed, walked to his friends.

“What happened? You seem to have left an impression.”

“The bitch said no to me. Leave it yaar, let’s go and have a coke.”

And Karan lived happily ever after…

Friday, November 7, 2008

RAHIM'S THEOREM

According to Rahim...

Let there be 2 friends.
Let their friendship = thread

Then if they fight:
Thread breaks.

After that if they become friends again:
Thread joins but there remains a knot.


SHIT MAN !!! ZYADA FART MARNE LAG GAYA HUN....!!!!

THINGS HAPPEN SOMETIMES….

Human minds are so fickle… Its like feelings don’t matter at all. They do when everything’s alright, but even a small misunderstanding can make one change their stand on the love, friendship and respect they might have for someone. Possibly these feelings get rekindled later on, but the damage is done by then. People say stuff that that they should not have said, they might not have meant or they might not have felt, when they are vulnerable. Its hard to understand a person. No matter how much time you spend with him/her, their will be something about the other person that you might not know (everybody’s entitled to their secrets).

Relationships can not be perfect, so we should stop expecting them to be so. Life can be just as ugly as it can be beautiful. But the show goes on. Light teesko....

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Wednesdays

Did you guys notice or is it just me? That Wednesdays are the most fished-up (thank you Shahrukh) days of the week. Once I looked up a horoscope book andit said Wednesdays are the luckiest for my sun-sign. Ya right, fish you! They are right in the middle of the week. It’s like cramping up a mile out in the ocean. Neither can you swim back nor can you go further.

On Mondays and Tuesdays we have a whole week ahead of us. But it’s ok, coz we just got refreshed in the weekend. And we can survive Thursdays and Fridays waiting for the weekend to come.

Let me tell you. Our slots are so fished-up that we are left with no other choice other than bunking classes. First there are AM and maths. THEN A FREE SLOT. Then we have HS. THEN LUNCH. After lunch we have EE. THEN A FREE SLOT. And at 3pm we have ID 120. Of all the subjects we have they chose ID 120 for the 3pm slot. And then they say we don’t attend classes.

Even at school, on Wednesdays we never had a sports slot. And my school bag used to be the heaviest.

Other than Saturdays and Sundays, Wednesdays should also be declared holidays. They are too painful to be a working day….


PS: And this isn't the post i was talking to you about in the last one. That will be my first piece of fiction. I will post it after I have submitted it. Do read it and comment on it.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I DON’T SEE THE POINT…

  • I don’t see the point when parents ask us to make good friends. Like we know who will be the right person just by looking at him/her. It’s only when you get familiar and ‘friendly’ that you know what kind of a person he really is. And that’s when it gets difficult to avoid him….
  • I don’t see the point in why the human race is so fucked up. Why can’t people just think. They mind their own business when they know that all the forests are being cut down at an alarming rate, which will lead to warming and what not… But they come out rioting if a celebrity is called a ‘choot’ by another one…
  • I don’t see the point in why we discriminate. Whether it be caste, religion, race or even where the person is from. It’s like we can’t live without discriminating. We fucking humans are just wired wrongly.
  • I don’t see the point in why we even chose to discriminate on the basis of our nationality. And by the way why do we even need the country system? Why can’t we live in the world under one governing body? Because we are too selfish to actually live in this world like a big family, sharing and caring, like we imagine ourselves to be. Because even if we don’t discriminate on the basis of anything else, we can label the other person as an American pig or an uneducated lowly Indian. And just imagine- if something like the events in the movies “Independence Day” or “War of the Worlds” does come true would we still fight against each other.
  • I don’t see the point in why we have always had partitions and never unions of countries (in as much of history as I know).
  • I don’t see the point in why we go to war. Why India and Pakistan are still fighting over Kashmir. They don’t even give a fuck what happens to the “paradise on earth”.
  • I don’t see the point why terrorists do what they do. I don’t need to explain.
  • I don’t see the point in why we even exist.
  • I don’t see the point in why we don’t like people (or a group of people) who are different. We hate them, detest them, avoid them and even make jokes about them. You do so even if u know that the person is not so.
  • And finally, I don’t see the point in imposing the lan cut. Dean dude, guys here have hard-disks with capacity in terabytes. Give them lan for an hour or the whole day it’s the same. They will download all the stuff on their comps and watch it later.

  • p.s.: i wrote this when i was angry. but decided to post it anyway....